By Hlamalani Semango
On Saturday, October 23 2021 Ramaabele Beverley Maphakane was one of the motivational speakers at a poetry event hosted by Thosam work placement agency in Mpumalanga.
The 30-year-old former accounts payable administrator from Tembisa, east of Johannesburg, motivated and encouraged the participants about self-love and self-acceptance, by sharing the story of how she grew up hiding her true self.
Maphakane was born with a deformed right hand, with only two fingers. After realising the negative impact of hiding her hand, the insecurities, lack of confidence she had because of her disability, that’s when Maphakane went on a self-discovery journey which included asking herself lots of questions.
Why was she born in the first place? Why does she look like this? What is wrong with how she looks?
She told ThisAbility, “Growing up, I spent most of my time suffering from immense low self-esteem issues because I was born different. I had to hide the real me for a very long time so that I don’t get to be asked awkward questions or being looked at differently and weirdly. As time went by in my teen years it became too much. I wanted to feel loved, feel beautiful and wanted the approval of everyone around me.
Eventually she looked herself in the mirror and finally accepted and loved the reflection of herself through the mirror. She also decided to become a body image activist, to motivate others, at first through Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Then she met the founder of Sdudla On Point (body image activists), Tsholofelo Mogashoa (35), who is also a plus-size woman, at a fitness event organised by a mutual friend. Some of the invited speakers had not turned up and Maphakane stepped in the gap.
Afterwards the two started interacting, and Mogashoa invited Maphakane to be a guest speaker at a Sdudla On Point event on July 31 2021.
Mogashoa told ThisAbility, “Our organisation has always been dealing with body shaming (mocking or humiliating a person for their physical appearance) for fat people only and inviting Beverley Maphakane through was something different and I must say, her story was touching and we learned a lot from her. Her courage standing in front of people talking about how she got to accept herself, the challenges she faced and how she got to where she is right now, was so motivating. Everyone gets body shamed for different reasons in our society.”
A lawyer was quoted in a November 2016 Los Angeles Times article saying, “Body shaming is humiliating, with often painful, long-term consequences. It mocks and stigmatises its victims, tearing down self-respect and perpetuating the harmful idea that our unique physical appearances should be compared to air-brushed notions of ‘perfect’. What really matters is our character and humanity.”
One of the people who attended the Sdudla On Point talk was Tiny Seroka (44). She says Maphakane’s story “encouraged me to also motivate the little ones at home”.
“She also helped me to enhance my self-esteem and hearing her tell her story with so much confidence, boldness and bravery has somehow made me to do introspection about my own shortcomings. [She taught me] that in everything I do, I have to do it with dedication and passion and be confident in who I am and how I look as a woman,” Seroka told ThisAbility.
Maphakane, who is currently doing a learnership in journalism and writing a book, says, “To every woman out there, be it you are a plus-size woman, slim, have any kind of disability, they must be able to face themselves, they must believe in themselves. They are worthy, beautiful and must show the world who they really are and how beautiful they are.”